i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
