he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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