Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
