My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
