I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
