Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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