i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
