I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
