Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
