i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
