She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My life is pants optional.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
