she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
