They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
