I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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