I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
