Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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