i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
