I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
