new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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