I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
