it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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