we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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