new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
