His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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