How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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