I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
