Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
