I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
