she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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