If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
