i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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