When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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