guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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