yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
