So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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