where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His nipple licking is glorious
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