grandma shit on top of the toilet
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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