the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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