it was like eating out sand paper
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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