i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
