Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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