So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
