Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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