yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
