I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
