Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
