The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
