She's JV to your varsity
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
