Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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