I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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