how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
