dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's always time for handjobs
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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