wrigley field is MILF paradise
I need to stop coming to work sober
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
