im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
