A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
