Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
