You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
